This semester, I’ve been teaching 20 credit hours – 6 classes. Two sections of Data Structures online, three sections of Discrete Math 1, and one section of Discrete Math 2, which is the first time I’ve taught Discrete Math 2. I’m getting it done.
I’m not putting as much effort into Data Structures as I had wanted this semester, but I am getting it done. Instead of lecture slides and videos, I just write detailed notes in the labs. I know my students aren’t reading the textbook, I really ought to do something to encourage that. They come to me with questions that would be covered by the textbook if they had read it. With a math textbook, it is easy to get them to use it – assign homework. With a textbook on data structures, it doesn’t so much have a repository of homework to do, but is more of a reference item. I need to figure out some homework to get them to go through it.
I’m pretty happy with Discrete Math 2 this semester. I haven’t had much trouble ramping up on each new section as I re-teach myself stuff I took in college maybe eight or so years ago. I’m happy with my LaTeX assignments that I’ve been writing up, and the class has gone smoothly. Discrete Math 1 has also been going alright, though my night class is mostly silent. It’s a Monday night class, my lectures are all up online in video form, and in class we work on the exercises I write. For my day classes, students pair up and discuss the work. For the night class, everyone works solo (even though I’ve tried grouping them up) and is quiet. Their lack of energy saps my energy, and my lack of energy saps their energy – at least, that’s how it feels. In my more “outgoing” classes, I find talking about the topics easier. The night class, nobody works together, nobody asks me questions, and they already have all the resources they need. It’s such a weird dynamic.
Beyond classes this semester, I find it really hard to operate outside of work-mode. I’m so over-worked that it can be hard to wind down or relax or focus on any other tasks I want to do. It’s hard to go to sleep at night after working all day, because I still want to do something fun. But with any spare time I find, I cannot think of what is fun to do; I haven’t spent much time on fun all semester so my brain isn’t configured to receive fun. Sometimes I can get lost in an evening of Overwatch, but otherwise I just feel tired and lethargic.
As the semester end slowly comes, I keep thinking about what Moosader thing to work on next. And my mind is fuzzy. It’s so hard to focus on anything outside of my day job. The big picture, the small picture, anything. It stresses me out.
And I know next semester I will be teaching 4 classes (two Discrete Math 2s, two Data Structures) and taking one grad class. I know I’ll continue being exhausted for the foreseeable future, and that to get anything done with my startup I’ll just have to adapt.
I’m hoping that I will go back to part-time Summer 2018, adjuncting at my school and maybe another, and hopefully that will free up my brain for working towards something that is really my career goal – my startup – and not just working towards my backup goal – teaching. I love teaching, and I’m fine doing it, but I’m not ready for this to be the “endgame” in the MMO of life and career. I figure, after my Master’s, I can work as a teacher anywhere as needed. To add in some extra income, to work on when I’m closer to a retirement age, do pursue if we move to India, etc.
I’ve always dreamt of running my own company, I’ve always loved making work for myself, but these things have always been shoved on the back burner due to school or work. I don’t have the luxury to just quit a job and focus on a startup full-time; I have bills to pay. I have student loans to pay off. But when I think of where I want to be in the future career-wise, what I’m doing now isn’t exactly what I envision.