Waking up this morning still feeling like crap – I’ve been sick for two weeks now. Even though my cold is more mild now, my throat still hurts and feels terrible every morning. The house is a huge mess because I’ve been trying to get well and rest, and I want to make sure to program a sufficient amount each day. I also want to get into a routine and wake up early in the morning and sleep earlier at night.
I have been looking forward to January for months. And I feel incredibly depressed that I’m not at my 100% to tackle what I want to tackle.
I want to make money independently of a company. I want to do this. I want to make a living creating good things. I want to do fulfilling work.
My anxiety is spiking. I don’t get this chance very often – one other time in my adult life. I can’t just go that long without an income. And it’s hard to find any decent part-time jobs. I don’t want to go back to working full-time. I don’t want other entities to sap my energy and creativity and time. I don’t want to go back.