I always beat myself up during holidays… (My internal monologue)

Oh, I have some free time? I don’t immediately have a ton of work to get done?

Be productive. Utilize every second to make something. Don’t relax. You’re wasting a precious, finite resource: free time.

Or, try to relax. Why aren’t you relaxing? Stop being bad at being a human. Stop working so much. Just fucking relax. What’s wrong with you??

Clean the house. Finally you have extra time. Clean the house. Fight the lethargy. Fight the exhaustion. Keep at it.

Sit back and play some video games. You love video games. Ignore that voice in the back of your head that makes you feel guilty for PLAYING games instead of MAKING games.

Just go program. You would be successful if you just spent more time building things. Or at least you’d be happier. Instead of just THINKING about making things constantly YOU COULD ACTUALLY MAKE THINGS. I know you’re low on energy, but suck it up. Do it. Stop being a failure. You have limited time. This is your chance. If you squander it you will continue suffering.

Geeze, Rach, do you listen to yourself? Your mind is so cluttered. You need to meditate or see a therapist. Stop putting off taking care of yourself. I know you have no time and you don’t have another job lined up. Stop just sitting, paralyzed, by the analysis paralysis that comes from facing life. Get yourself up. Why aren’t you pushing yourself harder?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.